this blog originally appeared at thesagemama.com

I was talking to a fellow homeschooling mom and found myself feeling a bit deficient. Her children are reading above age level, she enjoys doing lots of crafts and arts with them, and always seems to be playing with her children. When I compare myself to her, I find myself lacking.

I found afterwards that she was comparing herself to me and finding herself lacking. She wished she had the interest, skill and knowledge of alternative health that I do and was feeling guilty that she doesn't. That made me feel much better but left me wondering, why don't we value ourselves and our gifts more? And what do we do about comparing ourselves? Some folks don't have the bad habit of comparing, I do.

I can use it to motivate myself or use it to feel like dirt ... To motivate myself, I start by naming and loving my strengths BEFORE I compare myself to others. I feel much better when I do that, I feel more confident, and that can only lead me to better choices. If I know where I'm doing well, then it's easier to see where I want to be different.

But what to do about that envy? I have found there there is always a nugget of truth when I feel envious -- it's just a matter of sorting out the truth from the noise. The truth for me is a little voice saying, I'd like to have more of that in my life. If I can get clear about what I really want, then the path opens up. So with my friend who is so proud of her children's academic progress, the nugget of truth for me is that I'd really like to feel that my children are learning. I don't have that sense right now -- so how can I see all the ways they are learning? Maybe I can observe them more to see what they really do while they play. Maybe I can start a project we both are interested in. Maybe I can list all the ways and things they already know just because they are my kids. (How many children know how to muscle test and do EFT? Mine do!)

this blog originally appeared at thesagemama.com

Today we had an another appointment for my 8 year old son. In his limited lifetime he's been to: Speech Therapy, Sensory Integration Therapy, Cranial Sacral Therapists, chiropractors, energy workers, homeopaths, and intuitive healers. That's quite a lot for one little boy. We stopped all those modalities except for homeopathy, energy workers, and intuitive healers. I just couldn't keep up with everything recommended and I didn't think he needs everything the experts recommend.

I'm pretty alternative with our healthcare choices. My son has changed radically using homeopathy, EFT and other energy work. His violent outbursts have subsided, his short sleep cycles and general grumpiness are gone, occasionally popping up to remind me to pay attention to what needs to be cleared.

It's a constant struggle - do I accept that he'll grow into skills that most other kids his age (and younger) have, or do I get him extra help? What help do I get?

After a disastrous visit from my family where the lack of progress in his reading was pointed out to me, I struggled to sort out the difference between my maternal instinct and outside criticism. I realized that while my maternal alarm was sounding, it was misdirected at teaching him to read.