We’ll be talking about the Personal Peace Procedure and doings lots of tapping!  The purpose of the call is to help you get going on your own PPP.

Register below and put “PPP call” in the subject line.  If you want to attend both, put “both” in the subject line. There is no charge for this call.

June 11th:  Introduction to Family Energetics

In this highly interactive call, I’ll lead folks in some introductory Family Energetics exercises.  Family Energetics is the ground-breaking approach that heals ancestral and energetic disconnects that are limiting us today.  If you have done loads of EFT and still feel like you aren’t  living your life to its fullest, F.E. might be the answer.

Register below and put “FE call” in the subject line.  If you want to attend both, put “both” in the subject line. There is no charge for this call.

The personal peace procedure group I ran on facebook was a delightful experience. I personally had some significant insights and witnessed others having the same. Inspired by this process, I’ve created an email version of the group. It’s priced at a dollar a day so for $25 you can receive 25 days of emails that will give you ideas and encouragement on your own Personal Peace Procedure. Sign up here!

I never knew what to do with the feeling of shame. I didn’t know how to go past it or through it. Or into it or under it. My whole PPP list had a theme of shame and it was overwhelming at times. But I diligently worked item by item and I had a breakthrough insight.

I experienced very clearly how shame is a defense mechanism that protects the vulnerable part of us – shame distracts us from having to feel a very deep grief and sense of loss.

Once I saw this, the path became clear – keep tapping! The depth of emotion that was under the shame truly surprised me. A very intense grief and loss. These tappings were some of the most cathartic of my tapping history.

So I invite you to ask yourself which of the core emotions is your defense mechanism: anger, fear, or shame? What areas in your life do you feel ashamed about? Are you willing to do some tapping on these areas? I invite you to explore this.

UPDATE:  the group was awesome.  I’m not running a group at this time but have released an PPP email program.

Some of the reasons for this are:

• Thinking it doesn’t matter
• Thinking it will be too hard
• Thinking the results already gotten are amazing
• Thinking we have to settle for less
• No trusting that EFT will get us to zero

The last few levels of SUDS often point to new aspects

Gary mentions this in his manual in Case History #1: Fear of Public Speaking:

“This was much less than the 10 she usually felt but, obviously, there was still some left. This is prime evidence that some new aspect of her fear was emerging that wasn’t present in her thinking during the break.”

I have noticed this recently with several of my clients.  After working on an issue for a few rounds, we dropped the intensity from nine or ten to one or two.  Sometimes I’m guilty of leaving it there but we decided to be persistent.  Tapping on the remaining issue and getting to a zero results in some surprises:  a whole new aspect would arise during the tapping that offered significant more relief.

There is a lot of intensity and insight in those last one or two points of SUDS.

In fact, I rarely consciously use EFT.  It’s just part of my life. If I am on the phone and find myself getting wound up, I’ll tap on the collar bone point.

If I find myself getting triggered in a conversation, I’ll tap on the points in the moment.

Once in a while, I’ll find myself stuck on something and you might find me pacing my bedroom, tapping and talking out loud.

Or if I have the sense that something deeper is brewing, I’ll get help from another professional.  I actually don’t like doing the deeper work alone; I need the co-creative and safe space of another.

I also have the benefit of tapping along with clients – I indeed notice how much calmer I feel after a client session – and while part of that is indeed a sense of satisfaction with a job well done, how much of that calm feeling is from having an hour of my own tapping?

There is no wrong or right way to integrate tapping into your lives.  I’d love to hear how you find yourself tapping during the day.

Image by Qthomasbower

On Sunday, Sept. 25th, I hosted a call where I worked with several different folks on their Human Design charts using EFT.   We looked at some of the issues tied to living our aura – either as a manifestor, generator or projector.   The call was quite amazing as we started to untangle some of the pain of thinking we have to do things a certain way when in fact we are designed to do things our way.

A manifestor talks about the apparent conflict between having a high-impact aura (being a big ship in a small harbor with lots of small ships) and not wanting to run over other people.  So how can she be considerate of others but not burn herself out?  Listen in for the reframe and I hope you are as astonished as I am.

A generator and I tap together on some of the challenges of surrendering to the now, surrending to our sacral, and learning that both our yeses and our no’s are valid.

And a projector, with sacral envy — I thought she was teasing at first and mistakenly was way too-light-hearted – but there was a real heart-felt agony about how to be herself and get it all done.  Again, the shift she made around accepting her aura gave me goose-bumps.

And finally with another projector – running a life-coaching business but in her way.  How do we ignore all the ego-driven, manifesting energy most business owners use and instead allow our energy to show us the path?

The call is about an hour and you can listen  or download here:  Human Design and EFT

Last week I talked about matching the language of the set-up to your current emotional state. For some folks, saying, “I love and accept myself” feels like complete nonsense.

If you are saying the set-up but feel no connection to it, try some alternative language. Notice how I am gently shifting the energy from hate to credit.

Even though I have this issue, and I hate myself for it, I give myself permission to hate myself.

Even though I have this issue and it feels so engrained in my cells, I have no hope for changing, I give myself permission to have a tiny bit of hope.

Even though I have this issue, and I’ve had it for so long, who would I be without it?

Even though this issue has felt overwhelming to me, I give myself credit for tapping on it.

Notice how this language can move us from the first level of feeling judgmental to the next opening of acknowledging we want to change.

Next time I’ll share more language for when we want to change but don’t trust that we can.

The Levels of the Set-Up Phrase

• Judgmental of self and closed to this issue being acceptable
• Wanting to change but not trusting it’s possible
• Wanting to be open to the idea that I’m okay
• Becoming more open to the idea that this unintegrated part of me can be healed
• Opening to accepting myself
• Fully and deeply accepting myself

Abraham-Hicks’ fans are very familiar with the concept of an Emotional Guidance Scale – a continuum of emotions ranging from despair to joy. A similar concept applies to the phrase used during the set-up tapping. We can vary the language so that we capture where we are now and move one step up on the scale.

The gradients of the scale might look like this:

• Judgmental of self and closed to this issue being acceptable
• Wanting to change but not trusting it’s possible
• Wanting to be open to the idea that I’m okay
• Becoming more open to the idea that this unintegrated part of me can be healed
• Opening to accepting myself
• Fully and deeply accepting myself.

There are three aspects of the set-up phrase.

1) Finding language that fits at the beginning.
2) Shifting language as you tap to introduce a cognitive shift.
3) Using new language to test progress.

I’ll go over each of these in the next few posts.  For now, pay attention to what language you are using during the set-up and how true it feels to you as you tap. Where are you on the scale and what’s one step up?

Deborah Donndelinger says, “I have come up with an approach for using EFT to resolve deep-seated problems rooted in our family history.” You may it useful.

Hugs, Gary

Hi Gary,

I have come up with an approach for using EFT to resolve deep-seated problems rooted in our family history. (I call it Family Energetics). I am getting outstanding results with every single client I use this approach with. That’s because I have folks look at areas that they didn’t realize were impacting them and then use EFT to clear those areas, gently and effectively. So this approach adds in a different line of questioning that can show where we need to tap. I don’t recommend it for folks new to EFT.

My clients, including many seasoned EFT practitioners, are pleasantly surprised at the amount of energy moved and the great results achieved. They feel a greater sense of peace and ease with their family relationships, work, money, and self-love – all good stuff!

I love it because we are extending the foundational EFT principle of loving ourselves no matter what (of course found in the set-up phrase) to the entire ancestral family system. It’s a built-in human desire – we want to feel good about where we come from and who we are.

The starting premise, from the field of Family Constellations, is that any place there is an excluded person in the family history that hasn’t been recognized, there is a loss of love available to the current person. The solution is to see what and who’s been lost.

We then use EFT to clear the emotions for all involved using tapping and surrogate tapping. This opens the path so that we can feel and find the love that supports us, which is the key to moving forward and unleashing a huge capacity to give love back to ourselves, our families, and the world in general.

We get support when we are energetically connected to our family line. When we can see every mishap, every bad action, every horrible thing that happened and see the love that’s behind that story, we move into a space of acceptance and freedom. This requires a very real and deep ability by the practitioner to be non-judgmental and view everyone with love, regardless of their actions. This requires the courage to see what’s in the system as well as the knowledge that the emotions can be cleared with tapping. Again, I do NOT recommend this approach for folks new to EFT.

When to Use

The approach I am describing here I use mostly with folks who have already done a lot of tapping. In fact, there might not be any obvious symptoms or issues on the surface but after doing this work, things just get even better than before. It also can be used in when there are specific issues being worked on. I use it after we’ve tapped on the specific issues. I definitely do not use it as the client’s first exposure to tapping. He/she needs to develop confidence and trust in the effectiveness of EFT first. My preference is to do this exercise with every client; so much rich material comes up.

How to Use

The first place to start is with the client’s connection to the parents. I ask the client to imagine facing her mother and father and tell me what she notices. I’ve never met a client who didn’t have some sort of intensity the first time they did this exercise. In fact, if I suspect that there might be a very strong reaction, I’ll use a version of the tearless trauma technique and have the client imagine herself imagining herself facing her parents.

I use a combination of my client’s language and my own as I introduce some reframes. Here’s an example based on a composite of several clients’ experiences.

Me: Imagine your parents are in front of you, facing you. How close are they to you?
Client: My dad is right in my face and my mom is off in the corner. She’s turned away.
Me: How does it feel with your dad there and your mom away?
Client: I feel scared – like he’s going to hurt me and my mom is not going to help.

Depending on how much intensity the client is feeling, we might start tapping immediately or I might ask for more information about how and where she feels the intensity in their body. I ask for their level of intensity so we can track progress.

Even though I’m scared because my father is going to hurt me and my mother isn’t available to help me…

Even though I have this fear in my stomach, I love and accept my fear anyway…

Introducing the reframe:

Even though my father’s anger isn’t about me, but I was the one who was there to feel it, I love and accept and forgive myself anyway.

EB: This anger
SE: It’s not about me
UE: I was the target
UN: This fear
CH: It wasn’t about me.
CB: I was the target.
UA: I can now see this fear and anger and it’s okay.

Once the level of intensity is at 3 or less on a scale of 0 to 10 or less, we move on. The next step is to ask about the underlying loss that’s causing the family disconnect. Since this loss is often hidden, we need to know what to look for. It’s important that the practitioner keep a picture in her head of each generation of parents being connected to their children, with the love flowing from generation to generation. That’s the solution picture; our job is to find out why the love has stopped flowing and to KNOW that the connection can be made again by this work.

There are key questions to ask at this point. I am looking for lost children, miscarriages, lost loves, early deaths, crimes, losses due to war, losses of a homeland, any place where a connection was lost and wasn’t properly acknowledged.

In this case, knowing that there is a reason the mother is turned away, and that we need to find a way to reconnect the mother with the client, I ask about the mother’s history. Please note that I don’t ask about the father. We are looking for where energy is being drained or lost from the family system. The mother is the one who is not available, not the father.

The client tells me that her mother lost a child in birth before the client was born. Depending on how much intensity the client is feeling we might tap immediately or I might I ask the client to just imagine looking at her mother mourning the unborn child. Together, we tap for the mother and the unborn child.

Tapping for the mother: Even though I lost my baby, and I can’t stand to feel it, I am open to the idea of loving myself anyway.

Even though I feel unlovable because I lost my baby, I am open to the idea that I am still the mother to that baby.

Even though I’ve been missing this baby horribly and I just didn’t know it, I’m becoming aware that I have another child who needs my love.

EB: This unbearable loss
SE: I want my baby.
UE: They didn’t let me hold her.
UN: This grief.
CH: I want my baby.
CB: This loss.
UA: I am willing now to see my baby.

Now it’s time to introduce the concept that the baby and mother are always connected in love and that the mother is available for her living child.

EB: I see this baby and she will always have a place in my heart.
SE: I see this baby, she’s mine, she’s ours, she will always have a place in both of our hearts.
UE: I see this baby, she’s ours. She was the first child.
UN: And we had another.
CH: I am the mother to two children.
CB: I can see both of my children now.
UA: I can feel the love for both of my children.

I ask the client to recheck how it feels to imagine looking at her mother and sibling. At this time, the client tunes into her own sense of loss of a sibling and we tap on that.

After a few more rounds of tapping, when the client feels at peace, we then go back to the original imagination of the client facing her parents. In this case, the client feels complete. She’s feeling connected to both of her parents. When she checks in with me later in the week, she tells me how connected she feels with her own children and how much easier things feel overall for her. At a family reunion later that month, she is amazed at how she is connecting with her extended family and she no longer feels out of place.

There are many levels to this approach: connecting with grandparents and great-grandparents, connecting with our homeland, connecting with our own children, and connecting with our partners. Some clients need to explore many facets of their family history, others need just this one reconnection exercise I’ve described. Regardless of how it happens, imagine if every person who learned EFT, every person who tapped, was able to feel connected and supported and loved by their family heritage? What a huge outpouring of love would be available for the world. That’s my dream.

Love and hugs to you and thanks for all you do.
Deborah

Deborah Donndelinger, EFTCert-I